Saving face as South Asian women die in Canada

Saving face as South Asian women die in Canada
Domestic violence; 'Gender bias' alleged as B.C. A-G speaks out
Brian Hutchinson, National Post
Published: Saturday, April 07, 2007

VANCOUVER - Wally Oppal, B.C.'s Attorney-General, called it a "cancer" in the province's Indo-Canadian community. He was speaking about domestic violence. Specifically spousal assault: Husbands beating their wives. Sometimes killing them.

For being blunt, Mr. Oppal was taken to task by some of his fellow Indo-Canadians. They implied he was a self-loathing traitor to his ethnicity and culture.

That was five months ago, after a string of murders and violent episodes involving Indo-Canadians in B.C.'s Lower Mainland. Two women had just lost their lives, allegedly at the hands of their husbands. Another Indo-Canadian woman had been shot in the face and was permanently blinded. Her husband then shot himself and died.

Paramjit Singh Ghuman had already been charged once for beating his wife, Gurjeet Kaur Ghuman, a Port Coquitlam nurse. Mr. Ghuman was on bail at the time he committed his final assault.

And now two more women have been killed. On Thursday, about 70 women gathered in Vancouver's Punjabi market to honour the deceased and to protest the violence that continues. Indo-Canadian women continue to die, apparently for no reason other than being young, independent of spirit -- and married to Indo-Canadian men.

Navneet Kaur did not show up for work last week in Phoenix, Arizona. Her husband, a Vancouver man named Avtar Grewal, was apparently in town; career paths kept the couple apart but Mr. Grewal was known to fly to Phoenix from time to time.

Colleagues went to Ms. Kaur's house and found signs of a struggle. They saw blood. Police were called and they discovered Ms. Kaur's lifeless body inside the house. She was 30 years old.

Her husband, meanwhile, was on a flight to India. Mr. Grewal, 35, was apprehended in New Delhi and is now in Indian custody awaiting possible extradition to the United States where he may face charges in relation to his wife's death.

Those familiar with the couple have said Mr. Grewal did not like being separated from his wife, and wanted her to leave her job at a Phoenix-based medical services company where she was a software engineer. Members of Ms. Kaur's family are reported to have said that "many restrictions" were put on her. Allegedly, Mr. Grewal had attempted "to keep her confined" and had prevented her from attending a family wedding. Ms. Kaur, by several accounts, was unhappy in her marriage and was contemplating a divorce.

Two weeks earlier Mukhtiar Panghali, a resident of Surrey in suburban Vancouver, was charged with second-degree murder. His alleged victim: Manjit Panghali, his pregnant wife.

A popular 30-year-old elementary school teacher, Ms. Panghali was last seen alive in October at a prenatal yoga class. She never returned home. Her husband waited 26 hours before telling police she was missing. He then insisted to reporters he was not involved with her disappearance; however, there were indications she had antagonized members of his family including his younger brother Sukhvinder, whom she did not want living in her house.

Earlier, Sukhvinder Panghali was charged with criminal harassment of another woman. At his sister-in-law's insistence he moved into an apartment suite along with his parents.

Ms. Panghali's charred remains were found a week after her disappearance near a busy ocean port terminal in south Surrey. In addition to the murder charge, Mr. Panghali is charged with indecently interfering with a body. His brother, Sukhvinder, is charged with the same offence, and with being an accessory to murder.

In February, Amanpreet Kaur Bahia, 33, was found stabbed to death inside her Surrey home. A native of India and a farm worker, she had lived in Surrey with her husband, Baljinder, their three young children, and Baljinder's parents.

No charges have been laid; a police investigation continues. Mr. Bahia told reporters after his wife's funeral that he "is a suspect" in her murder. "The whole family is suspect," he added.

Navreet Kaur Waraich was stabbed to death in her Surrey home late October on her 27th birthday. Her husband, Jatinder Singh Waraich, is charged with second-degree murder and scheduled to go to trial this month.

Mr. Oppal cannot comment on the specific nature of these incidents, of course; however, he will point out the glaring similarity. He has refused to back down or retract his earlier comment. He thinks he got it right. There is a sickness in the community. It is cultural and it has to be confronted.

"Those of us in the criminal justice system know there is a disproportionate number of domestic assaults in the South Asian community," says Mr. Oppal, a former justice of the B.C. Supreme Court. "Regrettably, people are still in a state of denial about it."

According to Mr. Oppal, there is "clear evidence of gender bias in the Indo-Canadian community. Young girls are not as valued as young boys," he says.

The imbalance is demonstrated early on, he adds. "Teachers tell me that so many Indo-Canadian boys are uncontrollable from a disciplinary perspective. They bring that conduct to their personal relationships. But many people don't want to talk about that. They just don't want to do anything about it.

"Saving face is too important in our community to admit there is a problem, but it's obvious."

People outside his community seem even less inclined to discuss the issue. When Mr. Oppal addressed domestic violence in Indo-Canadian society, some mainstream academics actually demurred.

"Bringing in the 'Indo-Canadian' aspect of these women's identities stems from the persistent racism of our wonderful multicultural nation," wrote a pair of Simon Fraser University assistant professors in an opinion piece published in the Vancouver Sun.

Such warnings may be well intentioned but they are not helpful. Cultural factors do impact domestic behaviour, and can play a role leading to violence, says Ninu Kang, director of family programs at MOSAIC, an immigrant and refugee services organization based in Vancouver.

"I thought Wally Oppal's comment about a 'cancer' in the community was tremendous. I applaud it," says Ms. Kang, herself of Indian descent. "And he's right about the culture's gender bias. It is very much the case in the South Asian community."

Her organization runs programs for immigrant men who have been convicted of domestic abuse. Many participants exhibit similar traits, says Ms. Kang, including a desire to "control" their female partners, who come to Canada seeking -- and often finding -- freedoms they did not enjoy at home.

This can be especially true of South Asian women, she adds.

Indo-Canadian husbands can feel pressure to exert authority over their wives, especially in cases when the marriage has been arranged and when the couple lives with the man's parents.

"It can be problematic when living in extended family units, with different generations under one roof," notes Ms. Kang. "A woman may find herself in much more of a traditional role than she is used to or wants. Even if she loves her husband, she may be unhappy. And that can put stress on the husband."

"What I'm seeing is a backlash against women who are exercising their new empowerment," says Ms. Kang, who leads group discussions with abusive men.

"Keep in mind that people are still coming to Canada from places such as India where these freedoms may not exist. They arrive with traditional values and suddenly their world opens up to them. And this can threaten their husbands, and their families."

© National Post 2007